tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006111.post4311471771590446004..comments2023-10-15T04:14:11.505-07:00Comments on FORESTER: Foresterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13252666368088857269noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006111.post-10816716652447269442008-03-11T20:30:00.000-07:002008-03-11T20:30:00.000-07:00Forester,sorry I've been gone for such a long time...Forester,<BR/><BR/>sorry I've been gone for such a long time. I saw your post over on Beck's latest post and wanted to let you know your still cared for and appreciated.<BR/><BR/>I dont want to get too personal in your comments section, I know how you are feeling with regards to touch and intimacy with your wife. My wife and I deal with the same sort of issues in that regard. If you would like to talk further drop me a line at truebleu(at)gmaildotcom<BR/><BR/>take careSeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03828931862423178491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006111.post-1214720024899484412008-01-20T15:03:00.000-08:002008-01-20T15:03:00.000-08:00You still alive Forester?You still alive Forester?One of So Manyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15079854483497796201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006111.post-65616769582173337122008-01-02T08:27:00.000-08:002008-01-02T08:27:00.000-08:00Forester - I am blessed to have a number of close ...Forester - I am blessed to have a number of close straight male friends. We are able to hug, even kiss each other on the lips, put our arms around each other.<BR/><BR/>I think the reason they are comfortable with that kind of contact is because they know I am committed to Göran, and have no desire to be sexual with them in any way. They can accept the warm physical contact for what it is -- a token of friendship. I am certain that that dynamic would change if any of them ever thought that I was sexually interested in them.<BR/><BR/>It's the same in my relationships with a number of close straight women friends... I hug and kiss them, sit comfortably on a couch with my arm around them. If I ever felt one of these friends saw me as a potential sexual partner, I would probably recoil from that kind of physical contact. I would be afraid to give them the wrong idea about how I felt about them.John Gustav-Wrathallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03557940681381951271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006111.post-58187646666063633852007-12-29T23:50:00.000-08:002007-12-29T23:50:00.000-08:00This is so tough. I can recall very clearly feeli...This is so tough. I can recall very clearly feeling similarly around this guy my freshman year of college. He just loved hanging out with me so much and that alone was a little strange for me for some reason. I had a lot of gay friends and a lot of female friends, but not too many straight guy friends (except my brothers). Anyway, there is this innocent longing that I remember so well, and I really feel for you. On one hand I understand what you and beck are saying about wishing you hadn't told, or not coming out to these hot straight friends so you don't freak them out.. but on the other hand I don't think we can absorb the benefits of any friendship without a certain degree of transparency. This transparency is of course very dangerous, but I think its important. When I was really into reparative therapy books I remember Nicolosi always talked about the most important kind of relationship for the masculinization of a gay man.. it was a relationship with a straight man who you are attracted to who knows you are gay. In his opinion this was the most "masculinizing" kind of friendship-- its the theory that were gay because we lack something.. and that something we will find in ample amounts in this sort of friendship. Now I don't believe AT ALL anymore that Im gay because I'm lacking something. I believe that I am whole. But it is interesting to look at how these sorts of relationships do or do not benefit someone in your situation. Do you find it beneficial or just frustrating? A couple of years ago I worked with this straight guy who was so STUPID but so freaking cute and it drove me insane to hang around him in a way.. and in a way I loved it. He knew I was gay, but I never told him what a huge huge crush I had on him. I wonder if I should have. If I had to do it again I probably wouldn't tell him that I liked him in that way. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, you are great and your feelings are so palpable when you write. Thanks for continuing to share your journey with all of us.CLARK JOHNSENhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02893018646857280001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006111.post-84252466721935033372007-12-23T16:58:00.000-08:002007-12-23T16:58:00.000-08:00:(:(Saint Jobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16187537284190617835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006111.post-46481877380853020962007-12-22T07:22:00.000-08:002007-12-22T07:22:00.000-08:00They are hard to make, harder to get them to accep...They are hard to make, harder to get them to accept you, and really hard to get them to be supportive in the "weird" ways you need them to.<BR/><BR/>That's it. I need a hug. Time to call my best vict...er...friend.One of So Manyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15079854483497796201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006111.post-49694889550646954132007-12-22T02:14:00.000-08:002007-12-22T02:14:00.000-08:00i'm sure that i have unconsciously torpedoed poten...i'm sure that i have unconsciously torpedoed potential male friendships because of an inner fear that i would say or do something stupid--something suggestive.<BR/>the result is very few male friends, a great emptiness in my life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006111.post-65346831039398033302007-12-21T17:34:00.000-08:002007-12-21T17:34:00.000-08:00My heart goes out to you! How I weep for your pai...My heart goes out to you! How I weep for your pain, your unfulfilled desires, your innocent need for touch. Change the names and you have me.<BR/><BR/>If anything, this story reveals that I shouldn't come out to my straight friend... it would change everything as I fear it will. I feel your regret. I'm sorry. <BR/><BR/>I would hope that straight guys could understand that all touch between guys (with one guy being gay) isn't necessarily sexual, but is healthy affection between friends.Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.com