Saturday, July 07, 2007

I have to apologize if I place any pictures on my blog site that may offend anyone. It's not my intention to lead you down the tempting path, but instead provide an outlet for me to freely express myself. This is the only place I can talk about being gay and share what I feel inside. This is an outlet for me and the pictures are part of that. I try and chose pictures that are tasteful.

I've read a couple of blogs from you guys lately about not feeling anything at church. I too have been going through a tough time at church and have actually been cutting out of priesthood meeting to go for a drive and get a Coke. I don't feel guilty about doing this, but lately it has been turning into a habit. Last Sunday I stayed at EQ and the lesson was actually great. It was given by a man who was baptized less than a year ago. It was so nice to hear him talk about why he believes in the Book of Mormon and in Joseph Smith. I came very close to feeling the spirit, but still had a hard time.

The rest of the day was not good. I spent the day feeling down and somewhat aggravated, but mostly just wanting to tune everything out and be by myself. I can't explain how, but the simple act of going for a drive by myself makes the rest of my day go much smoother. I seem to need the time to re-energize. We don't have church until late afternoon, and I spend most of the morning taking care of the kids and getting them ready for church. The only time available for me to spend some time alone is during church. If I wait until after church it's too late and I spiral downward.

1 comment:

Distinguishing Preoccupation said...

I understand. Lately, out here on my only day off, Sunday, I'll go do my own thing. I'll take off to Colonial Williamsburg, DC, or some part of Richmond that I've never been to just to be alone and experience things without the stress of conforming to that which is expected of me.

As for your comment on my last post, I always believed that God hears me, and I believe he does know me. It's not that I don't think he hears my prayers. He just doesn't respond to me. I don't get the direction nor answers.

Anyway, it's good to read you again on the blog world.


Since July 15, 2007