So everyone I ask advises me not to tell my wife of my attraction to men. Their reasoning goes something like this: Since you have never cheated on her (never been with another man) then telling her that you are attracted to other men would just blow things out of proportion. I've lived all my adult life with SSA, never kissed a guy, met a great woman in college, was and still am attracted to her, have three great children and a great relationship. It's not like I really need her support. Instead telling her would place a tremendous pressure on her to help me as well as make her question my attraction and love for her.
I can't imagine life without her and my children. They are what I want in life and that is why I have made the decisions I have made. Don't we all struggle with sex in some form or another in this day and age? I have talked with a former Bishop and he left it up to me to tell her if I wanted to, but suggested that I don't. I've talked to a close friend who knows of my SSA and he vehemently advises not to tell her. I've spoken with three therapists over the past two years, and only one of them has even suggested telling her about it.
I don't mind bearing this struggle without her, but I do like to share everything about me with her. We don't keep secrets from her, but maybe this is a secret worth keeping, at least for now. If I can continue to be strong and confide in others, including my Savior, then I believe I can make it through without her having to find out through an act of adultery with another guy.
I wish there were some sort of "safe" environment where I could try a few things like kiss another guy. I rarely look at porn, but when I do, I am mostly offended by what I see, so I easily turn it off. This leads me to believe that if I were able to try some things with another guy my curiosity would be diminished. On the other hand, if I really like it, then it's probably harder to go back and not give into temptation again.
The close friend that knows of my gay feelings is LDS and has had sex with another guy out of curiosity - before he was converted. He said that it did eliminate any curiosity and he has no interest in men. He too has been sealed in the temple now. Sometimes it makes me wish I had done more experimentation when I was younger, before getting married. Then I wouldn't be facing all of these questions now. They would have been answered in the past.