Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Strength in Numbers
So far, this blog, as well as other blogs of similar subject matter, has been an interesting look into the lives of gay married Mormon men. I'm impressed by the resiliency and faith of all of you and I'm honored to receive strength from your writings on these blogs. The greatest insight I have received is learning more about myself through my own writings and your responses to my blogs. I look forward to hearing about all of your struggles, successes and yes, even failures.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
You're in great company. I've also seen tremendous courage and resiliency in others, and seen my resolve and testimony grow through my own blogging and reading and commenting on the blogs of others.
It's a great source of free therapy!
And worth every penny, at that!
:P
Just came across your blog tonight as I was contemplating the years I've spent as an active LDS celibate gay man. Unlike many who blog in this milieu, I never married. I admire and respect you young guys who are working at doing all the things the gospel tries to infuse in our lives. I have a certain amount of guilt for NOT having married...I always wanted to be a father, just could never muster the strength to become a husband. I have friends who are gay who HAVE married...such as yourself, Forester, and are making a go of it. I lived in fear that I would be unfaithful, that I would grow to hate a wife, would hurt and disappoint her and possibly my children...so I opted out. And I have spent years enduring the questioning of friends and family, wanting to line me up with their sisters, cousins, nieces, mothers (yes, alas) and aunts. Until a few short years ago, I had told NO ONE my "horrible secret" but I began branching out with trusted friends, a priesthood leader, a few family, and it's amazing what strength and comfort it gives you to unburden yourself just a bit.
I thought for many years I'd wake up "straight," after all, I fasted, prayed, plead with the Lord, and worked very, very hard at leaving all those gay feelings behind. But I still wake up me every morning, and realize that I'm still here, I'm still me...and I have been learning how to come to terms with that.
As for telling your wife...you'd have to choose the right time, the right place, and be sure she could understand she has your unyielding support...do I think you should? It's not for me to say...I came to the conclusion a while back that for ME, if I ever did marry, it would have to be with the understanding of a good and caring woman who would help me find happiness with her in a family setting. It sounds like you may already have that...
I'm going to come back here often...I love the tone of this blog, and what little I've seen of it, it seems a good, kind, and gentle place to download a bit. Thanks for having the courage to create and maintain such a place. All the best. Love, best wishes, and blessings.
Post a Comment